|The first Wednesday of the month|
is time for Insecure Writers
Support Group, hosted
by Alex Cavanaugh and his
excellent team. Click here for a list
of all the participants and to join in.
For many complicated reasons, I took on home schooling two of my daughters this fall. It's been a tough adjustment, but worthwhile. Very worthwhile.
But it's consuming and exhausting, and I'm still working my part time job on top of it. Something had to give to make this all work, and it's been my writing (and exercise... now that the days are getting shorter, I'm really missing my evening walks).
I was holding out hope that once the girls and I were adjusted to the new schedule - say, about six weeks - that I would be able to start writing again on a regular basis. But the insecurity I'm facing as I start my sixth week of home school is that writing isn't ever going to regain its foothold.
I absolutely love NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) in November, and this will be my 7th year participating. This is the first year I haven't been looking forward to it. I just can't see how I can fit in two hours of writing daily (that's about how long it takes me to meet the 50,000 words in a month challenge) on top of my already insane schedule. There's not much left I can cut back on. I'm not one of those moms that has her kids signed up for lots of extra-curriculars: they each get to choose one extra-curricular activity a week (but there are four of them). My own social life has already thinned down to one night w/friends a week. Dropping that during November will help just a few hours a week.
October is usually my big planning/outlining month getting ready for NaNo, but I've even been dreading October, not even sure I want to start planning for something that I don't think I can complete.
But then last night, it happened.
The story that wants to get written suddenly came alive and took over my brain and flooded me with ideas, and even more important, with passion (a rough draft of a historical fantasy, A Handful of Scars, from 2010, that needs to be completely rewritten).
I realized that my passion for the past six weeks has been funneled into a new project: getting started homeschooling. I needed to be passionate and single-minded about this huge new thing, especially to get through the initial tough period of adjustment. But we're getting into the routine, and while I don't want to lose my passion for teaching my kids, I am far enough along with it now that I think the passion can spread into a new side project.
Now that my passion has been ignited for this new project, I think I might be able to do it. At least, I'm hopeful and eager to try, and I'm not going to beat myself up if I only get 25,000 words instead of 50,000... if I can only manage an average of one hour a day instead of two.
Passion might just be the antidote to insecurity.
I think!? What do you think?