Zen and the Art of Life

This last "temping top ten list" for the A-Z blogging challenge is a wonderfully fitting end, a compilation of 10 ways that I have found to live life in a fulfilling way (reposted from 2012).

When I was in college, I had a friend give me a copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, a philosophical journey by Robert Pirsig, and that book made me take a really long, thoughtful look at life - what was really important to me, what defines a quality life.

The "zen" in the title does not refer to specifically to Zen Buddhism, but rather to general philosophy of living life "in the moment", versus an approach to rational analysis and planning (the maintenance part of the title). A quality life is a balance between the two approaches, but in the end, the author acknowledges that quality is basically undefinable and we each must find our own path. 

I wonder if that's why pictures of paths always appeal to me, like this one.

Since then, there have been many other influences on my outlook on life, some of which I have listed below.  I also recognize that everyone's path is different.In fact, I love to read about other people's ways or discoveries along the path of life, so after reading my list, please share a thing or two you've learned on your path to life.

10. Life can be ridiculously complicated, if you let it. Simplify. Here's a short, sweet post from Zen Habits on how to start simplifying your life. This gives you more time for the essentials - the people you love, the passions you want to pursue.

9. De-clutter. I will never be an extreme minimalist, because homes filled with beloved things: there is something so homey about them. But I've also discovered that de-cluttering (I spend about an hour a week working on this) brings me such a massive feeling of accomplishment and organization in comparison to the relatively small amount of time it takes. I also believe that materialism - accumulating more and more things -  just breeds discontentment.

8. Resist impulse spending and instant gratification. Waiting has its own wonderful reward, and even better, here's a great post how to overcome the apparent contradiction between enjoying life NOW and avoiding instant gratification.

7. Put things in perspective. All that stuff that is stressing you out right now - it probably won't matter in 5 years from now, let alone 15.

6. Make mistakes, don't fear failure, don't beat yourself up if you mess up. Our mistakes teach us, and grow us in ways our successes never can.

5. Keep learning. Always keep learning new things - technical things, artistic things, new words, new languages - even trivia. It keeps us young and wise at the same time.

4. Seek creativity, even in the ordinary everyday tasks. A short, sweet guide to creativity.

3. Enjoy each moment. Continued happiness and fulfillment is in the little things, not the big things. Especially with your kids.

2. Love deeply and unconditionally and always, always forgive (a post from Zen Habits on forgiveness).  Forgiving another person when they don't deserve it is the hardest things in the world, but the secret to happiness in life (along with #3). 

1. You can't do this alone. We're not strong enough 100% of the time, or even 80%, to tackle life and wrestle the best of out it. Even scarier, if you lived for very long in this life, you discover that people always let you down in some way. So how do you reconcile this problem?

The miraculous thing I discovered is that there is a God who never lever lets you down, who is always there for you, who even died for you - and even better, conquered death and came back to life so that we can too. I don't believe in forcing my religion on anyone, but by golly if I've found something wonderful, I can't help but to share it. I've been a follower of Jesus since I was 23 years old, even though I don't follow very well and am always getting lost. He still stays with me, every step of the way.

Again, everyone's path through life is different, and I can't wait to hear what other wonderful ways you guys have found to enrich your lives. Please share!!!

A moment that will someday appear in a story

Writers have these moments (not often enough) in life where something happens that we're like, Oh oh oh I am sooooo going to use this in a story someday!

This little moment is not clever or exciting, it's just a tiny slice of life with no rising action or dark moment of the soul, but it was rare and strange and beautiful, so I just have to share it.

Last Wednesday I was sitting in my office at work, the third floor of a University of Wyoming building, trying to puzzle out some web mapping code and trying to not be distracted by the Army ROTC unit doing drills outside my window, when a hauntingly lovely sound came floating up from some part of the building.

I work in the Agriculture building. I used to believe it was inhabitated by gnomes (there's another story about that), but I think they have departed due to some unspecified University policy, so there is nothing haunting about my building, unless you count the insect lab in the basement and the collection of butterflies pinned in a case.

Nothing ever exciting has even happened in my building, either, unless you count when students pull fire alarms to get out of taking exams.

So I was quite startled by the etheral sound suddenly wafting through the halls.  A violin playing.

Possibly just a recording someone was playing in a classroom? We are long way away from the Fine Arts building where an actual violin player might be found.  But I couldn't resist. I headed out of my office to track down the lovely sound.

Down the second floor; nothing there. Down to the first floor. Oh yes, getting closer.

If this was a recording, it was very impressive. I have NEVER HEARD SUCH A LOVELY SOUND. I had no idea the acoustics in this building were so amazing. (Actually, I did know it had impressive acoustics. You don't dare have a conversation on your cell phone in any of the halls; every word can be heard from adjoining classrooms and offices. Eerie acoustics. Might be the gnomes again).

I poked my head around a corner and discovered a girl reading flyers on a bulletin board. She has long hair, 5 inch heels, and a short skirt. While reading, she played this haunting melody on a violin.

Not just any violin. I have never heard such beautiful sound. I have been to violin concerts in fine auditoriums. I have endured two years of my daughter practicing the violin (wait. that is not a good example). We have had several impressive violinists who have done solos at our church.

One of the church soloists sometimes sits for me during summer when the girls are home a lot more. She is 15 years old, and has a rare form of macular degeneration which means she can only read if she holds a paper within an inch of her face. She will never be able to drive a car. (Side note: she is the most amazing teenager I have ever met: creative, smart, loves history, scorns other sitters who just play on their smart phones when they are supposed to be sitting kids. She doesn't just play with my kids, she INVENTS games for my kids).

She is saving up money to buy a really good violin; one that will cost her over $10,000.  I totally applaud her goal and wish I could give her a raise so she can buy this violin sooner, though I'm already impressed with the $2000 one she plays now (I fully admit I don't have a discerning ear for fine instruments).

Back to this random violin-playing girl in the Agriculture building, reading flyers on the wall while producing this heavenly sound.

She was an amazing violinist, and her violin must have been of the $10k or better variety, because I have never heard such beautiful sounds. It is was if a violin was a living creature singing. A fairy dancing inside the wood, weaving strands of musical gold from straw (or rather, from agricultural building molecules) like the miller's daughter in the Rumpelstilskin fairytale.

I stood in the stair well (out of sight) just listening, drinking it in, this unexpected, out of place moment. This is something you'd expect to happen in Paris, maybe. Or at least in the Fine Arts building.

Not in the building where I work.

So while I'm standing in the stair well with a goofy grin on my face, an agitated lady stomps down the hall and I had this terrible premonition that she was going to accost the violin girl and ask her to stop because she's disrupting a class or, heaven forbid, distracting an accountant trying to balance a grant budget. I almost tried to stop her before she stopped the violinist, but I head back up to my own floor (because I'm hopelessly non-confrontational).

A few moments later the loveliness ends.

But for the next few days, I haven't been able to get it out of my head.

Even if I never find a story to write this semi-magical moment into someday as scene, at least I have captured it here. And at last I have heard a violin worth paying $10k, maybe even $100k for. I have heard somthing in an entirely new way, in an unexpected place. A gift.

Did you catch that viral video of a meterologist who caught thundersnow on video? Apparently thundersnow is a very rare (and complicated) weather phenomeon and this guy had waited his whole life to see it (or he was just super excited to have finally caught it on video).  I think it is absolutely wonderful how our world is peppered with events like these, discovering the purest violin music in the most ordinary place, or catching thundersnow on video and then dancing around cheering like mad.

I love capturing these moments in my writing. It reminds of the truth of one of my favorite writing quotes: "We write to taste life twice."

Top Ten favorite quotes (at least for the moment)

This week's Top Ten Tuesday theme is about your favorite quotes from books.  Also, for the writers, Adam Gaylord is doing a Writer's Tip Tuesday and this Tuesday I have a guest post!

My quotes are about happiness, seeing in new ways, love of books (of course!), questions for which there are no answer, faith, and creativity.

And then there's a few quotes on falling in love, the deeper love that comes much longer after the falling in love stage, and a love that you grow into instead of falling into. 

1. What does happiness feel like?

“Happiness. It was the place where passion, with all its dazzle and drumbeat, met something softer: homecoming and safety and pure sunbeam comfort. It was all those things, intertwined with the heat and the thrill, and it was as bright within her as a swallowed star.” from Daughter of Smoke and Bone, by Laini Taylor

2. Seeing in a new way

“These human eyes seemed weak to me at first," said Eskar, still staring away from me, scratching her short black hair. "They detect fewer colors and have terrible resolution, but they see things dragon eyes cannot. They can see beyond surfaces. I don't understand how that's possible, but it happened incrementally as I traveled with Orma: I began to see the inside of him. His questioning and gentle nature. His conviction. I'd glimpse it in something as incongruous as his hand holding a teacup, or his eyes when he spoke of you.” from Shadow Scale, by Rachel Hartman

3, Love of books (and libraries!)

“Libraries really are wonderful. They're better than bookshops, even. I mean bookshops make a profit on selling you books, but libraries just sit there lending you books quietly out of the goodness of their hearts.”  from Among Others, by Jo Walton

4. Unanswerable questions in life

“To learn which questions are unanswerable, and not to answer them: this skill is most needful in times of stress and darkness.”   from The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula LeGuin

5. Faith, and doubt

“He said that doubt provided contour to faith, like shading in a drawing, that it allowed you to see what was really there.” from The Opposite of Hallelujah, by Anna Jarzab

6. Faith, and God's calling

“The place God calls us to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.” from Kisses From Katie, by Katie J. Davis

7. Creativity

“We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.”  from Ray Bradbury's book on writing

8. Falling in love

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”  from The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

9.  Growing into love

“There is the great lesson of 'Beauty and the Beast,' that a thing must be loved before it is lovable.”  from Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton 

10. The deeper love that comes from time

“They had an ordinary life, full of ordinary things-if love can ever be called that.”  from Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo

Bonus quote - this one is a bit long, but I love this one because it captures the frustration of the artist (or the writer, in my case): our desire to create something perfect and beautiful and how we always fall short, but the falling short is itself a beautiful thing for how to draws us onward, ever onward, to keep creating.

“This was not the perfect work that had existed in her mind. It was only the imperfect rendering that was the best her skill could manage. Yet Giulia was not dismayed. For she knew that she would try again – and again, and again, for as long as it took to gain the experience, the judgment, the understanding to get it right. And perhaps she never would get it right. Perhaps she would never attain that flawless blue, never create that perfect image, never find the ultimate point of balance between what she could accomplish an what she could dream. Yet wasn’t that the point? To be drawn onward, ever onward, in pursuit of your deepest passion? To look back at the end fo the race and knew that you had never done less than the most you could do?”  from Color Song, by Victoria Strauss

Insecure writer: despair and donuts

In pursuit of short term, fun writing goals this year, I've tried two different things so far, and I'm trying to come up with something different each month.  These different exercises/motivators are to A) keep me writing, of course and also B) help me fight the insecurity, the despair, the temptation to give up because the stories still need so much work. 

The first Wednesday of the month
 is time for Insecure Writers Support Group,
hosted by Alex Cavanaugh and his
excellent team. 

About my YA science fiction, Star Tripped, a couple agents have said "wonderful premise! But not connecting with the characters." (One of them even pointed out why, which I really appreciated). So I made some changes and presented it to my writer's group. Again, similar feedback along the lines of "hmmmn, this has potential, but we're not connecting." Played some more with the first chapter, sent it to a critique partner. She pointed out some of the characterization that didn't work (note to self:  avoid a lot of negativity in first chapters. Negativity is a turn-off)  (Negativity is a way to produce conflict, but maybe not the best way). 

So I've been sitting at my computer for the past few days, scratching my head, poking my character, annoyed at her. "Give us something we can connect to you with!" I get an idea; I toss it around; it doesn't click. I chew my fingernails until another idea comes. Another dud. Really, does this girl have any personality? Do I have any personality? (Yikes! This is where insecurity will lead you).

So then I pick up a really good book and read the first chapter. How did they do it? How did they get me to connect with this character? How did I get hooked? I marvel at the author's brilliance! And then I crawl into a mental corner and sulk because the brilliance does not conduct itself into my writing fingers via those lovely papery published pages. The ideas I have come up with so far are decidedly non-brilliant. 

After a while, I come out of the corner and stop sulking (because it's cramped, in corners; not much of view) and try some different things. Last month I tried writing in a notebook right by my bed the moment I woke up, when my head was still all foggy from sleep. It's surprisingly easy to do this, even for a very decidedly NOT morning person like myself, because it doesn't require any thinking. Really, no thinking. Just spewing. (Maybe our dreams, our subconscious, does all the work?)

I plan to keep doing the morning writing, but I also wanted to try something new for March, too. March is a long way from November and NaNoWriMo, but I think this month I'm going to start my writing days reading a NaNoWriMo pep talk (there are probably at least 50 pep talks archived now) and maybe try something that day's peptalker suggests.  For instance, Chuck Wendig suggests "write donuts in an empty field" You know, as in when you go out to an empty parking lot and drive donuts? (if you don't know, here's a wikipedia entry on it. Wait, Wikipedia doesn't really do it justice; just read Wendig's pep talk and you'll get the idea: it's basically just - go hog wild). 

So anyway, that's my plan for fighting my insecurities this month, and to keep writing. 

The writing isn't working

I'm having my worst NaNoWriMo ever. This month is usually a rush. Frustrating at times, exhausting, but oh - the ideas! the random lovely/scary things that appear and make me wonder, did I write that? where did that come from? I usually end up chopping up what I write for NaNo; a lot of it gets cut or heavily revised. But NaNo always gives me a solid diamond core.

Not so much this year. I have this vision my head that just isn't coming out in words. I don't expect the writing magic to flow every night, but the thing I've come to depend on with NaNo is that if I keep spewing the words out every night, then the drudgery momentarily turns to magic, here and there.  Into my third week now, and I'm not seeing any sparks flying yet. I'm holding onto my vision for this story, and trusting the process of visiting it every night, putting one word after another, trying not to give up.

My vision for this book (working title, Refuge) is a blend of the real world with completely magical mythical creatures. It isn't a portal into a magical world like Narnia, or a reverse portal where something magical finds itself stuck in reality; it's not a clash of two different worlds... it's sort of the real world and the magical one tentatively meeting each other, brushing edges  and sparking static electricty, but still hiding in the shadows. It's also about what the two worlds need to learn from each other. 

Plans for this story go back many, many years and includes inspiration from sources like Legend (the 1985 movie with Tom Cruise); the Island Stallion by Walter Farley and the Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. More recently, the Iron Fey series by Julie Kagawa, Pegasus by Robin McKinley and the Daughter of Smoke and Bone series by Laini Taylor have sparked new passion into my original vision. I have a rough draft and years of dreaming; what I had hoped to do during this NaNo was to stitch the new vision into the old but now I'm wondering if I have maybe too much "grand vision" and "dreaming" and not enough of it distilled down into concrete ideas. And yet, I have a solid outline, tons of world building and character sketches - but something is still missing to make all of the ingredients work together. 

Even if the magic doesn't kick in during this round, I love this story too much to give up.  A story like this deserves as much time as it needs to fully come together. Maybe its waiting on me to grow some more, learn some more, collect more experience and heartbreak and passion. 

There are 10 days of NaNoWriMo left and I'm going to keep plugging away. 

Insecure Writer: Pitch Wars and NaNoWriMo

Nothing like putting yourself out there to the whole world to light a match to insecurity. At least when you are querying, you are only putting yourself out to one or two at a time. When you enter an online contest you're out there for anyone to see whether you got agent requests or not.

The first Wednesday of the month
 is time for Insecure Writers Support Group,
hosted by Alex Cavanaugh and his
excellent team. 

So I'm going to be out there tomorrow, November 6, on the Pitch Wars alternate showcase on Dee Romito's I Write for Apples blog. (Well, it's my pitch and first page for Star Tripped that's out there, but my name is also out there, so it feels like I'm out there). Yesterday and today are the main Pitch Wars pitch showcases on Brenda Drake's blog, where I've been stalking and mentally cheering on my favorites. Some of my favorites are also agent favorites (4 or more requests!) and others haven't had an agent visit yet at all, which perplexes me. But then again, "favorites" is such a subjective thing.

We know that, right? (I have to keep telling myself this). Writers who have started putting themselves out there to see if they get any bites? There's going to be people who love our ideas or characters and think our writing has potential, and then there's going to be a LOT of people that skip on to the next offering, because your stuff doesn't click with them. And that is okay (I have to keep telling myself this!) We're allowed to be different and like different things. This is a good thing.

Still, I'm insecure, but I love that the timing of Pitch Wars coincides with NaNoWriMo, because that helps, and here's why:

1) because there's nothing like another new exciting writing project to get your mind off the other project that's getting the occasional nibble but not any solid bites.

2) I love the #LifeDuringNaNo Tumblr. Oh my gosh people, this gif!! Whenever I rediscover the Muppets' Beaker it's like rediscovering how to laugh like a little kid. It made me laugh for like five minutes. My teenager heard me laughing last night and actually got out of bed to come see what was so funny.

Plot holes 

3) I love the author pep talks for NaNo. This year, I've already been inspired by Chuck Wendig's donuts. Donuts!! Writer donuts! (these are the kind of donuts that are even better than sugary donuts)

4) NaNo makes me fall in love with all my little writer rituals again. Like how I want to take a picture of my writing recliner (I don't use a desk) and the fairy lights decorated around it and the bulletin board of inspiration and ideas on the wall next to it and an upended wooden box on the floor next to it that is just the perfect perch for a mug warmer and a mug of tea. (You know about mug warmers, right? Absolutely essential for writing. You might get inspired and write like crazy for a half hour, and then when you come up for air your tea or coffee has gone cold! You need a mug warmer!)

5) I love that we get a whole month that's labeled a special writing month, with lots of people participating in the madness (usually I feel very alone in my madness)

6)  Rainymood.com and Rainycafe.com (or your own personal writing playlist). In past years I've used Brandford Marsalis as my background music; this year I'm into gentle rainy white noise.

“A moderate level of noise enhances creativity compared to both low and high levels of noise. Moderate background noise induces distraction which encourages individuals to think at a higher, abstract level, and consequently exhibit higher creativity.”

7) NaNoWriMo reminds that my main reason for writing isn't to get published. Sure, that would be awesome (but I'm also aware that it's not ALL awesome. Goodreads reviewers scare the living daylights out of me). My main reason for writing is simply that I love making up stories and characters and places and events. It feeds my soul.

How about you?

Coming next: the things that I DON'T like about NaNoWriMo. (Thankfully, it's a shorter list!)

Also, no matter what happens with Pitch Wars, requests or not, I'm so thankful to my mentor, Veronica Bartles, and all the other mentors who donated so much time to help us revise and polish our stories and pitches, and cheered us on. Amazing people.

*Update: my pitch did get a few requests!

Insecure writer: writing a love list

The first Wednesday of the month
 is time for Insecure Writers Support Group,
hosted by Alex Cavanaugh and his
excellent team. 

Last month I wrote about five things I do to fight the insecurity of the querying process, and this month I'm expanding on that with a love list for my manuscript. Discovered this idea through the wonderful group of YA authors that hosted theReady, Set, Write! challenge this summer, who in turn discovered it from author Stephanie Perkins (Lola and the Boy Next Door, Isla and the Happily Ever After). 

To quote Stephanie, from her post about the love list, "I use this love-list as a touchstone to remind myself during the hard times why my story is worthwhile. It’s easy to forget the GOOD STUFF when I’m wading through the muck"  (the muck might be writing the middle of the first draft, or 2nd draft revisions, or in my case, querying - after a round of rejections wondering if what I wrote had any merit at all). 

Writing this love list reminded me of how much I love this story and how much I want to NOT GIVE UP ON IT. 

So without further ado, here are all the things I love about this story, a young adult science fiction. 

scuba diving

coral reefs

golden retrievers

Shakespearean insults

Harley Davidson motorcycles

anti-gravity

cheese biscuits

the butterfly nebula

sailing
lighthouses
jazz

blue hair (a nod to Daughter of Smoke and Bone, by Laini Taylor)

how my title came to be

henna tattoos

Treasure Planet (anyone else love that movie?)

Captain Hook

raining stars

love across all of space and time

Moroccan style headscarf

I'm Glad You Came by The Wanted

Lake Brienz, Switzerland 

Soli Deo Gloria

What's helping you fight insecurity or providing inspiration lately?

A story about Insecurity and Inspiration

The first Wednesday of the month
 is time for Insecure Writershos Support Group,
hosted by Alex Cavanaugh and his
excellent team. 

Back in March I posted "how an old dream is rekindled" - just for kicks and giggles, I read the first two chapters of my long-shelved unicorn story, Refuge, to my four girls, and they loved it and clamored for more. So, their love inspired me to start working on the story again.

At first, I thought, "this writing isn't half bad... I can clean this up pretty easily". After all, I had 5 years and 3 more manuscripts' worth of writing experience since I shelved this first attempt at a manuscript.

The first four chapters were in good shape and didn't need much work, but after that, what a mess!! I finally realized that mere "revising" wasn't going to work. I was going to have rewrite it, or at least major parts of it.

Insecurity started biting at my ankles (you know those little dogs that are called ankle biters? sometimes insecurity shows up like an ankle biter.)

Sometimes, Insecurity shows up more like the Hound of the Baskervilles: dark and really, really scary.

This has happened before (the insecurity part, and the massive rewrite part). I mean, we all know that good writing is essentially rewriting, right?  So the first thing I do when facing a rewrite is I find all the good stuff that is worth keeping, because that makes me feel better.

I read through the first third and copied all the parts that were worth saving. Little bits of characterization, setting, and dialogue. The document with all my bits and pieces was a jumbled mess, so (because I don't yet have awesome software like Scrivener), I had to figure out someway to organize it so that while rewriting, I could easily find the good stuff and fit it back in.

I organized the bits and pieces by character. So I ended up with five documents for five different characters, (kind of like a character worksheet, but in reverse). Then I made a sixth document to keep all the setting details that were worth saving.

At some point, skimming through this sixth document of setting details, my brain did the cool thing it sometimes does (not nearly often enough) and made a CONNECTION. My imagination looked at all those setting details and suddenly, eureka! - it realized that the setting was, in fact, a SIXTH character.

Cool!

The ankle biter, Insecurity, was momentarily pushed aside by Inspiration, which in contrast is a lithe, shimmery little dragon, kind of like Mushu, the miniature dragon from Mulan,

but a prettier, more clever version that impresses the cricket more often.

Inspiration twined around my torn-apart story like a purring dragon-cat, sparking imaginative fire for a few days.

(this is not the purring dragon cat of Inspiration my mind had envisioned, but this was too funny not use anyway)

Then, the fire went out, and the ankle-biter was back. Because all the pretty little bits and pieces still had to be stitched back together with new words, and the new words were coming slowly and painfully and weren't nearly as pretty as Inspiration had promised.

So, I'd like to say this little story has a happy ending, where the ankle-biter got put on a leash and the purring dragon cat was enticed to stay around and continuing breathing Inspiring Sparks into my story, but the reality is I'm still limping along at rewriting. My new words, more often than not, lack voice. Lack original details. They lack tension and sensory richness and they feel like "filler."

But I write them down anyway, because my favorite quote is Jack London's: "you cannot wait for inspiration; you must go after it with a club" and if I club that fickle dragon cat with bad words then eventually he spits a few good words my direction.

It all takes time and work and that, THAT's how you keep the hounds at bay, until you discover (SPOILER! highlight to see) that the Hound of the Baskervilles of Insecurity is just an ordinary hound tricked out with phosphorous to make him look scary. End spoiler.

What animals do you imagine Insecurity and Inspiration to look like?

The Disreputable History, the Kentucky Derby, and Shakespeare High

“What’s Up Wednesday” is a weekly meme started by Jaime Morrow and Erin Funk. You’re invited to join us if you’re looking for something to blog about, a way to let your blog friends know what’s been going on with you. If you’re participating, make sure to link your What’s Up Wednesday posts to the list on Jaime’s blog each week. That way, others can visit your post and check out what you’ve been up to.

What I've been reading:
I just finished two great books. 5 stars people, 5 stars! (I don't give those lightly: only if I am for sure planning to re-read them). These books are both sophisticated YA... but still fun.

The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, by E. Lockhart (YA contemporary)  Frankie is a FORCE! She is clever. She is a strategist: she thinks before she speaks, weighing all the options. But she's also vulnerable. She turns the pranks of an all-boys-sort-of-secret-prep-school club inside out. Written with great narrative voice.

The King of Attolia, by Megan Whalen Turner. (YA fantasy).  Nothing is what it seems in this book of palace intrigue and plotting. Full of witty repartee and a character, Eugenides, you will not soon forget.

Currently reading Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett. Also reading the Bronze Bow by Elizabeth Speare (a Newbery medal) with my kids. Next in the queue to read: She Is Not Invisible by Marcus Sedgewick, an April new release and Played by Liz Fichera, a May new release.

What I've been writing: 
Querying my YA science fiction, Star Tripped, and editing my MG fantasy, Refuge. Doing some free writing and writing from prompts to find some voice. It never comes easy, and then only in small fragments, but when it does finally appear oh it makes it worth the work.

What else I've been up to: 
Planning a birthday party for my 7 year old twins, it'll be this Saturday May 3, which is Kentucky Derby Day (what? you didn't know that?) So the theme is the Kentucky Derby, of course. The kids will get to pick which race horse they get to be and (if the weather cooperates!) we'll have some relay races and three legged races and so forth... and watch the race on TV of course. And have pony rides (not races) (again, if the weather cooperates: its SNOWING outside as I type this. The disadvantage of living at 7200 ft in Laramie, Wyoming).

What's inspiring me:
I have a very grudging admiration for Shakespeare (mostly due to his fantastic insults!), but recently I came across this documentary called Shakespeare High that, well, inspired me. It's about several teams of drama students in the greater Los Angeles area competing in a Shakespeare festival. One team includes former drug dealers and gang members. Doing Shakespeare. Yes, really. Here's a couple quotes from the film that I actually replayed several times so I could write them down, they were so thought-provoking:

A former gang member: "Do you know why an actor acts? Because he doesn't like who he is. When you act, you get to be somebody you're not. You can make up the character... you can become something you're not. You don't have to work up to it, you don't have to pay, you don't have to do nuthin but be it."

Richard Dreyfuss: "one of things that Shakespeare offers is that immediately you can't understand him, and you have to work immediately just to understand what he's saying. And overwhelmingly he's right, and overwhelmingly he's witty, and overwhelmingly he's wise. And when you start to unpeel the lessons offered you find that that gesture never ends." 

So, after watching this, I have to ask: what's your favorite Shakespearean work (play, poem, etc)? (I'm still trying to figure this out myself)

The Oscars according to me

I was reading predictions from IndieWire about which movie is going to win the Academy Award this year (The Academy Awards are this Sunday), and here's the skinny:

"Gravity" vs. "12 Years a Slave"? That certainly seemed like the narrative we were heading into for quite some time, which would have shared  commonalities with the "Avatar" vs. "The Hurt Locker," "Hugo" vs. "The Artist" and "Life of Pi" vs. "Argo" showdowns that met the last three years (an expensive, 3D critical and commercial hit versus a smaller film tackling history in one way or another)... History won all three times, but this year is clearly closer than ever. 

My vote is usually for the history film - I'm a huge fan of history (The King's Speech still makes me cry happy tears!) - with one exception. When history comes up against really-well done, visually stunning, thought-provoking science fiction, I'm really torn.

I haven't seen 12 Years A Slave, so this is totally unfair for me to root for Gravity to win. (Personally, I'm surprised The Butler didn't get nominated, another good historical).

But Gravity was such an excellent story and such a vivid portrayal of space, with all its beauty and stark danger, that I can't help but root for it to win the Oscar for Best Picture.

I have never been so tense (in a good way) while watching a movie before. By tense in a good way I mean, yes, the character is in grave danger, but there's also the excitement of a challenge that can be overcome by applying expertise, courage, and perseverance. And I especially love it when an unlikely character, like Sandra Bullock's nervous, fearful, heartbroken character, manages to overcome her fears and rise to the occasion and accomplishes things at first she's too terrified to even try.

Encouragement from George Clooney's character (sometimes in a really surprising way!) gives Sandra's character the strength and inventiveness to save herself against almost unimaginable odds. The lullaby she hears sung across space from a remote radio operator in Greenland... hauntingly beautiful.

I just finished writing a young adult science fiction story, Star Tripped, set in space (my logline begins: Camria and her twin sister were the first children born on the International Space Station), and I did A LOT of research on the Apollo and Space Shuttle missions. So it was really exciting to me to see a lot of information I'd learned confirmed and even more exciting to discover one spot in the movie which didn't match with what I'd learned about movement in space, but was probably added as a device to increase tension.

While reading more about the scientific accuracy of the movie: I learned some neat little details about zero gravity:

Stone's tears first roll down her face in zero gravity, and later are seen floating off her face. Without sufficient force to dislodge the tears, the tears would remain on her face due to surface tension  (Wikipedia)

But what I loved most about the movie was it really made you feel, with amazing cinematography and 3D technology, as if you were in space. I probably won't have a chance in my lifetime to visit space (unless a commercial venture becomes possible, but then I'm not sure I could afford it), so any opportunities like this, I eat them right up. Praise from critics does such a better job than me at describing the wonder that is this movie:

"a huge and technically dazzling film and that the film's panoramas of astronauts tumbling against starfields and floating through space station interiors are at once informative and lovely"... (Matt Zoller Seitz) 

"restores a sense of wonder, terror and possibility to the big screen" (Justin Chang) 

the film "in a little more than 90 minutes rewrites the rules of cinema as we have known them." (A.O. Scott)

What's the last movie that amazed you?

Perspective on winning and losing streaks

“What’s Up Wednesday” is a fun weekly meme started by Jaime Morrow and Erin Funk. From Jaime: It’s similar in some respects to the Currently… post, but it’s been whittled down to only four headings to make it quicker and more manageable on a weekly basis. You’re invited to join us  and visit other bloggers participating. 

What I’m Reading: I just finished The Time Fetch by Amy Herrick and loved it! It's a bringing together of four unlikely friends, in a superstition vs. science play through the fabric of space and time. Any book that can playfully toss around words like discombobulated along with serious scientific terms makes me happy down to my toes. I've also recently read the best-selling The Golem and the Jinni, by Helene Wecker, because I can't resist mythical creatures and, AND! BONUS! it's historical fantasy, my absolute favorite genre. Transplant a Syrian Jinni and a Polish golem (a female golem, no less) in 1890's New York City and watch their very different natures clash with each other and the cultures around them.  I just started reading a digital ARC of Tumble & Fall by Alexandra Coutts. It's an intense beginning of the end of everything. 

What I’m Writing: I'm changing the ending to my Star Tripped (YA SF) manuscript after having one of those wonderful inspirations  wherein I discovered how much more character I could develop AND how much twistier I could make the ending. 

What Else I’ve Been Up To:  I'm still catching up with all the wonderful posts and videos from last week's WriteOnCon.  I did submit my query (which still needs work) and first 250 words to the forums and got some excellent feedback, and just as helpful was reading and giving feedback on other queries. You guys, there are some seriously amazing premises out there! On the one hand I'm intimidated, especially because there were so many YA science fiction queries (competition!) but on the other hand, the ideas were so good, I want them to get published so I can read them.

I learned a TON from watching kidlit agents Suzie Townsend and Kathleen Ortiz give their instant feedback on a huge variety of twitter pitches (twitches, a new writerly word!). It was fascinating to see their facial expressions as they listened to/read the pitch for the first time and then to hear their comments (mostly they would agree; sometimes they didn't!). Great insight into what's hot and what's not in the current YA market, and what ideas really spark them individually, as well. 

My 18 year old stepdaughter also listened to a few of the pitches with me, and it was interesting how she was intrigued by the New Adult pitches, and "so over" the YA pitches. 

What’s Inspiring Me Now:  Elana Johnson's recent post Winning Streak or Losing Streak. From her post, quoting a professional development speaker: 

... he said it only takes two (TWO) events to get on a streak, either winning or losing. Two successes to feel confident... to feel like we know what we're doing... two successes to think, "Hey, I might be good at this." 

... then he said that it only takes two disappointments or failures to be on a losing streak. Two failed tests. Two instances where a student couldn't perform what they were asked to. And this is the dangerous spiral. When you're on a losing streak, you want to give up. You criticize yourself mercilessly. You have no confidence and no motivation to keep trying. Not only do we start to think, "I can't do this," we continue that thought to "I can't do this, because I'm not good at it." 

Why I find this inspiring is that if you recognize what two disappointments can do to you (with writing it could be rejections, or a harsh critique, but this could apply to your day job too, or school, or relationships), you can fight the temptation to give in. You can recognize them for what they are: a form of progress, part of the learning curve, and not a sign that you are "no good" or "not meant for this." You can also learn to recognize small successes (like a new idea that makes your story much stronger) and start tying them together into a winning streak of your own. 

What are you learning this week? 

What is an anti-portal?

This isn't a portal story, I think, but the
cover just screams "portal" to me!

I love stories about portals to other worlds, either fantasy worlds, like Narnia, or gates back in time like the Anubis Gates, or science fiction portal like Stargate; even gates that guard mysterious secret places, like the Secret Garden.

Some recent wonderful portal books I've read are The Archived, by Victoria Schwab, Daughter of Smoke and Bone, by Laini Taylor, the Iron Fey series by Julie Kagawa, Incarceron by Catherine Fisher, Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier, and the Wings series by Aprilynne Pike.

I must not be alone, because Goodreads even has a list of books that include Doors, Portals and Gates (discovered some of my favorites on this list, and a bunch more I want to read).

As I writer, I'd love to write a portal story. But of course, it would need an original twist.

The first way to put a fresh spin on an old but good idea (like portals) is to think of its exact opposite. Such as an "anti-portal."

But what, exactly, is an anti-portal? I've been thinking about  this  for a while now, and I haven't had any light-bulb moments. But sometimes when I'm reading other stories, I get a hint of what I'm looking for in my imagination:

Here's a portal excerpt from Wildlwood Dancing that has a "different" sort of portal:

At full moon, the walk to Taul Ielelor was far shorter. At full moon, everything was different, everything was upside down and back to front. Doors opened that were closed on other days, and those whom the human world feared became friends. The Bright Between was a gateway: not a threat but a promise. 

And this description, from Fablehaven by Brandon Mull, is neat, too:

The air trembled. On hot days, Kendra had seen the air shimmer in the distance. This was similar, but right in front of her. The ground seemed to be tipping. Kendra extended her arms and swayed as the ground teetered even more. There was a burst of darkness, an anti-flash, and Kendra stumbled.

So there's the "anti-" idea going on there.

When I saw the cover of The Burning Sky recently, with a dark stormy sky on fire (with a neat sort of phoenix or dragonish shape) that made me think of an anti-portal, too:

But aside from the visuals, what would an anti-portal actually do? If a portal takes you somewhere, what would be the opposite of that? That's where my brain has completely stalled. It's like trying to understand (without mathematics) what exactly dark matter and anti-matter is... we know that most of the universe is made up of it, but... it's really hard to wrap my brain around it.

So I thought I'd throw it out to the world. When your imagination hears "anti-portal" - what does it come up with? 

Encouragement to battle insecurity

My blogging friend Michelle Gregory had a wonderful idea for Insecure Writers Support Group today (where we all virtually meet to share the first Wednesday of every month). She asked her writing buddies to share where their greatest encouragement came from, because encouragement is an antidote to insecurity.

If you need encouragement as a writer, you'll want to bookmark her post: Let's encourage each other. 

Here's what I shared: 

My only "real" writing encouragement came from my high school English teachers, who loved my essays and creative writing. That was a long, long, long time ago and encouragement (from the outside) has been slim pickings since then. Critique partners are great at pointing out sentences they like, maybe a character they "identify with" or a piece that "has potential", but encouragement comes mostly in the form of "we know what you're going through, we're going through it too."  

I have found my greatest encouragement has come from the words themselves, especially the ones that pour out of me at times with a will of their own, and from the characters that keep stirring in my head, begging for their story to be told. I imagine them up there, hoping for life, wincing when I "don't quite get them yet", touching down on the page but only half-formed, still a little shy, sending me hints about their passions and fears but only opening up gradually as we get to know each other better. 

 Each little insight is an encouragement, and even the setbacks (when a critique partners says "your character is too whiny!") have been encouragements on the way, because they usually point me closer to the heart of the character. They challenge me to think deeper, to search harder, so that I'm able to find and release more of the real character and less of my own self transposed on them. 

What has been your greatest encouragement, in writing or anything else?