Forget resolutions, go for Theme

Maybe you are one of those people who actually succeeds at your New Years resolutions. I'm NOT. 

Resolutions like losing weight, exercising more, writing 1000 words a day (or even 300 words a day) have been miserable failures in past years.

For the past two years, instead of making any resolutions, I followed the suggestion from  My One Word by Rachel Olson, and picked one word as my "theme" for the year.  In 2011 I picked the word "focus". I wanted to focus more on my family, my writing, getting healthy. I utterly failed at it. It's completely ironic. For a year with a theme of "focus" it ended up being the most unfocused year of my life. I struggled with 6 months of depression and sank further into an addiction to binging (overeating). 

Still, we can learn lessons from our failures. In 2012 I tried the one word theme idea again. This time I tried a faith-based approach - my word was "seeking God" (two words, but I needed to be specific). And 2012 was a breakthrough for me. It's a very long, personal story that I won't bore you with all the details, but I'm sold on this one-word concept. The key is (for me, at least) to not make it a self-centered goal. Make it a goal that gets you to reach outside of yourself.  

From the MyOneWord.org website, here's more information. 

Step 1. The first step is to simply take some time and decide what kind of person you want to be at the end of this year. This goes beyond simply being healthier and wealthier. It must drive deep into your soul. 

Step 2. Get a picture of that person you want to be and then simply identify their major characteristics. Is that person gentle? Is that person generous? What are the qualities of the person you want to become?

Step 3. Once you have a list of the characteristics, simply pick a word. There might be 15 things that you want change, but you must resist the temptation to try to do more than one. Simply commit to one word. 

As with all things on my blog, I try to tie things back to stories or writing, somehow. I've been thinking about how I can apply this valuable lesson I've learned from just one word to my stories. How do I "reach outside of myself" with my stories? This is what I'm mulling over (I don't have an answer yet, and I don't have a word picked out yet). 

In the meantime, here's three things I learned in 2012:

1) it takes a village to write a good book. Critique partners who make you groan, friends you have fun brainstorming with, beta readers, editors, copy editors... it's so important to start building your team and realizing it's not just about you and your words.

2) when you are dealing with an addiction, the sooner you can admit it's an addiction the better, which also means admitting you can't beat it by yourself. Join Alcoholics Anonymous, or Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon, or Overeaters Anonymous, or start your own group. Find others struggling like you are.  Sometimes this takes a while. Don't give up. You are not alone.

3) If you focus on yourself, you end up draining yourself dry. Take a break to put others first and you will find yourself refreshed.