tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post5861913408959237557..comments2024-03-12T01:48:28.637-06:00Comments on Margo Berendsen: April fools and forgetfulnessMargo Berendsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03476308235642890474noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-12480104400257471582011-04-03T16:38:03.583-06:002011-04-03T16:38:03.583-06:00Omg that prank is so diabolically genius. And hila...Omg that prank is so diabolically genius. And hilarious. And cruel. Depending on the kind of day I'm having, a nervous little creature like me would probably have a heart attack if I opened my WIP to see it tampered with. :DSophia Changhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10946233873722107937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-28429859299071376322011-04-02T20:40:38.256-06:002011-04-02T20:40:38.256-06:00I love the first twitter picth. I think it works a...I love the first twitter picth. I think it works and the humor is well done. Good luck :)fOIS In The Cityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06347958777030988677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-87277647177260506312011-04-02T16:55:45.508-06:002011-04-02T16:55:45.508-06:00I am always amazed by a writer's good voice:) ...I am always amazed by a writer's good voice:) I still am not sure I found mine but working on it!Terri Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07771622379178654235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-9354169254203080882011-04-02T10:26:26.569-06:002011-04-02T10:26:26.569-06:00Stories about genies are pretty cool. I'm exci...Stories about genies are pretty cool. I'm excited for you :)Michael Offutt, Phantom Readerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10557969104886174930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-56017043806852811062011-04-02T00:42:40.590-06:002011-04-02T00:42:40.590-06:00Oh WOW! My vote goes for the second, but both are ...Oh WOW! My vote goes for the second, but both are equally exciting. You definitely crammed a lot into the 140 characters - I'm jealous! <br /><br />Best of luck :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01445416054945632135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-26229083507574682912011-04-01T20:54:02.889-06:002011-04-01T20:54:02.889-06:00The first one is my favorite :)The first one is my favorite :)Touch of Inkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13551995840395409781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-45746971954747706332011-04-01T20:51:27.011-06:002011-04-01T20:51:27.011-06:00I love the voice- especially the second one. Fun!I love the voice- especially the second one. Fun!Ruthyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10222343177450786859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-62985390979529255132011-04-01T19:25:24.810-06:002011-04-01T19:25:24.810-06:00I like both pitches. Very fun.I like both pitches. Very fun.Crystal Collierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03912469552483168148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-28612325607261830972011-04-01T18:27:32.113-06:002011-04-01T18:27:32.113-06:00Great post! So much great information here. I have...Great post! So much great information here. I haven't read all the finalists from Brenda's contest but I plan to. I prefer you first pitch, unless there is a Greek mythology element to the story.Lisa Pottshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11676087488599338569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-4083870401393211132011-04-01T17:42:32.955-06:002011-04-01T17:42:32.955-06:00Great pitch, and the book sounds fantastic! My onl...Great pitch, and the book sounds fantastic! My only suggestion would be to maybe simplify a little. The voice is awesome, though; don't lose that!Ruth Donnellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12305109099610123918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-57241299887166525742011-04-01T17:28:43.823-06:002011-04-01T17:28:43.823-06:00Your book sounds so much fun :) I prefer the first...Your book sounds so much fun :) I prefer the first version.Tatum Flynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00074228011847976820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-60480852083532592312011-04-01T16:44:31.258-06:002011-04-01T16:44:31.258-06:00I like the first version better. Best of luck!I like the first version better. Best of luck!Kaleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03104611823742775404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-17332132794207550842011-04-01T16:42:44.721-06:002011-04-01T16:42:44.721-06:00Both were good, but version two is definitely the ...Both were good, but version two is definitely the best. I really love this except for "is one thing." I don't know why, just that it sounds a bit weaker then the rest. I mean, a genie in a lamp is pretty amazing for most people. Then finding two, who are mortal enemies! That really is more trouble than a Greek tragedy. I love this idea. You did a great job with the pitch!J E Fritzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03372746219262163566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-48012080812561580672011-04-01T14:16:00.607-06:002011-04-01T14:16:00.607-06:00"A genie in a lamp is one thing, but Sidain f..."A genie in a lamp is one thing, but Sidain finds 2 genies who are mortal enemies, and instead of 3 wishes, she gets a whole lotta trouble."<br /><br />I love the 1, 2, 3 construction and the setup is stellar. I'd read this book. To conserve words, you could get rid of "whole." Honestly, though, I think it's perfect as-is.A.B. Fennerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14840798418316872130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-85961441658366407902011-04-01T14:15:36.217-06:002011-04-01T14:15:36.217-06:00Agree with Kristen J. and Jen that it would be nic...Agree with Kristen J. and Jen that it would be nice to know a little something more about the main character. However, excellent voice and humor in the pitch. love the idea of playing with the numbers to capture that even more.<br /><br />Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-82242524466375825432011-04-01T13:50:14.069-06:002011-04-01T13:50:14.069-06:00I love the voice in your pitch. It instantly tells...I love the voice in your pitch. It instantly tells us the book is going to be fun. <br /><br />I tried moved the wording around a teeny bit, see what you think:<br /><br />A genie in a lamp is 1 thing, but when Sidain finds 2 genies who are mortal enemies she gets a whole lotta trouble instead of her 3 wishes.Elizabeth Briggshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14572251749088056704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-87434898941077929762011-04-01T13:46:32.451-06:002011-04-01T13:46:32.451-06:00I'm so bad at April's fools jokes. I just ...I'm so bad at April's fools jokes. I just hope I make it through the day unscathed. :D Good luck with all the contests. I think they are a great experience for winners and participants alike.Lisa Gail Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03648323153868702165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-81525132650154530802011-04-01T12:24:26.645-06:002011-04-01T12:24:26.645-06:00I think it's catchy and it has voice.
Brand...I think it's catchy and it has voice. <br /> <a href="http://blkosiner.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow"> Brandi Kosiner</a>brandileigh2003https://www.blogger.com/profile/01669251993917961293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-35008070290590228702011-04-01T11:55:24.189-06:002011-04-01T11:55:24.189-06:00I have a April Fool's prank ideas on my blog t...I have a April Fool's prank ideas on my blog too. :)<br /><br />Like the pitch, but was wondering if there was a better play on words you could do with the numbers. <br />A genie in a lamp is one thing, but Sidain finds 2 genies who are mortal enemies, and instead of 3 wishes, she gets 2 (headaches?)Kimberlee Turleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04695299361596799423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-23309726563956585062011-04-01T11:38:28.170-06:002011-04-01T11:38:28.170-06:00I love your logline! Sounds like a fun story. And ...I love your logline! Sounds like a fun story. And after reading stories, entries that I love - voice comes down to great writing and connecting with the character. And that doesn't happen with vague writing and poor craft.Laura Paulinghttp://www.laurapauling.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-21092665331515779072011-04-01T11:06:40.220-06:002011-04-01T11:06:40.220-06:00Loved your pitch - it definitely makes me want to ...Loved your pitch - it definitely makes me want to know why there are 2 genies in her lamp, why they're mortal enemies, and what kind of trouble they will cause Sidain. If not a Twitter pitch, however, I'd want to know Sidain's goal and the stakes.<br /><br />I wrote a genie book once upon a time. Very different from yours, but I still think it's cute and hope to come back to it some day.<br /><br />I don't do pranks because I can't keep a straight face. I'm the kind of person who laughs hysterically at jokes before I can get to the punch line. Very sad.Vicki Tremperhttp://www.vbtremper.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-64312426214695989262011-04-01T10:26:15.582-06:002011-04-01T10:26:15.582-06:00I'm so gullible I fall for pranks from my othe...I'm so gullible I fall for pranks from my other half almost every day... so when April's fool comes around I get a break. :-)<br /><br />I played a little bit with your pitch. I hope it helps, but it's ok if it doesn't.<br /><br />"A genie in a lamp is one thing, but Sidain finds 2 genies, mortal enemies, who give her a whole lotta trouble instead of her 3 wishes."<br /><br />Happy Friday!Akosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13496491705617311571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-21571357911656047632011-04-01T10:05:33.547-06:002011-04-01T10:05:33.547-06:00I like the pitch, it makes me laugh (but I'm n...I like the pitch, it makes me laugh (but I'm not sure if that's what you are going for). I do agree more about the main character would be good. Good Luck!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17876772923733290496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-9516627883150848702011-04-01T09:58:20.754-06:002011-04-01T09:58:20.754-06:00Cool revamping of an old tale. Just promise me whe...Cool revamping of an old tale. Just promise me when they make it into a movie robin williams doesn't voice both genie'sdouglas esperhttp://www.douglasesper.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1150746199598958569.post-74256178506483824322011-04-01T08:51:50.722-06:002011-04-01T08:51:50.722-06:00I love your jokes! I've never been very good a...I love your jokes! I've never been very good at them.<br /><br />And I think your pitch is great. I definitely want to read it!Janet Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12688012956157161889noreply@blogger.com