Page Critique Tuesday: Dial down kids' excitablity - If you would like to nominate your page for a future Page Critique, please enter it in this thread in the Forums! Also, if you'd like to test your editin...
1 hour ago
So why would Ava rush after Zeke when it just made her look weak, pathetic and needy? I had no clue. Maybe someday I'd figure that out along with everything else like world peace and poverty and how to make cafeteria food edible.Also, Cassidy just has this hilarious knack for talking herself into trouble:
I have this problem with silence. It tends to draw words out of me even when I don't want to talk.And then there's her flare for drama, which kept me cracking up:
Mom hovered, trying to say something.
"Out with it. If you don't tell me now, I'll have this lecture of doom ganging over my head all day, and that could affect the start of my relationship with teachers who ultimately hold my collegiate future in their hands."
She sighed. "oh, Cassidy. Do you need to be so dramatic?"What really made me laugh out loud was when Cassidy tries to talk herself out of a situation with her overbearing Aunt Lulu, and ends up asking her aunt for help in straightening out her prom-date-seeking mission. Nothing like a fussy aunt getting involved in your romantic life and even worse, getting involved in the prom-dress-selection-process.
|Attribution: Nagate_by_kirasanta on Deviant.com|
|Attribution: Jeb_by_fuchsiart on Deviant.com|
|1965 Ford Mustang|
Sometimes, mixed magic flared tenfold. A single bolt could destroy the whole street. Other times, spells canceled each other out....
Instances of backlash - water frothing, flames flickering, bugs spasming and plants wilting - must be warnings....
Thunderclouds met overhead. Magic backlash, she was sure of it.In addition to the fascinating rules of magic, another thing I really liked about this book was the complicated friendship between Amara and Cilla, the princess she serves. Amara has to serve Cilla, even protect her life at risk to her own, but she's curiously loyal, and she's Cilla's only friend. I'm not sure if I've ever run across such a complicated relationship.
Have him in her head for hours on hours or risk his being out of her reach when she needed him. Invade her mind or break her body.
....He shouldn't hijack you like that," Cilla said. "But I like the way his face looks on yours. He looks more relaxed in your body than you do."Of the two main characters, I tended to look forward to scenes from Nolan's perspective a little more, partially because it was kind of fun to see a guy deal with being in a girl's head (!!!!!) and also because I couldn't get enough of his little sister, Patli (Pat). She was SO NEAT! She was a little sass but also compassionate, confused and freaked by her brother's "seizures" but also concerned and curious about him. And she's full of attitude...
Pat's scoffs had as wide a range as Nolan's smiles. At the bottom rung was Seriously? followed by I'm really too cool for this but, whatever I'll play along. Somewhere at the top sat This is the most important thing in the world, but OMG I'll die if anyone knows.
Nolan and Pat always spoke English together, but their parents stuck to Spanish around the house, or simple Nahuatl between Dad and Pat as practice. Dad saved English for his rare Talks, capital T.
The rising sun threw pinkish rays over her face and tintned the air a gray that hovered between yellow and blue, painting the clouds colors Amara couldn't find names for.And oh my goodness the last two pages were so poignant and beautifully unresolved, as Nolan writes his concluding thoughts in his journal.
|Hiccup and Toothless with a map! (map geek alarm going off here)|
|Oh look at Hiccup growing up!|
|The young Maleficent - her own mythical creature|
|ah, more magic, more mythical creatures... makes me happy|
If only teens should read YA, I guess only animals should read Homeward Bound.
— Kate Brauning (@KateBrauning) June 6, 2014
#bookaday is a great idea. Whatever gets people reading, whatever gets them thinking about books, talking about them, writing.
— Michelle Muto (@MichWritesBooks) June 4, 2014
If I had a bakery I would name it Game of Scones.Three other things:
— Shelley Moore Thomas (@story_queen) June 6, 2014
|Obviously not the eruption of Vesuvius, but the |
pyroclastic cloud of death might be similar
|How I pictured Lucia|
They promenaded around the market, occasionally stealing glances at each other as they chatted about the household. Sometimes they bumped shoulders or brushed arms. Lucia felt as if all her awareness and sensation were gravitating toward Tag like iron to a magnet rock. She wondered how the weight of it didn't make her tip over into him.
|The first Wednesday of the month|
is time for Insecure Writers Support Group,
hosted by Alex Cavanaugh and his
“Do you really need for me to get milkshakes?” she asked. I did. I clearly did. But that word “need” sounded so pathetic. I needed her to want to get milkshakes. I needed her to rank all her friends for me so that I could hear my name at the top of the list. I was afraid I was sinking lower and lower on it, and if I sunk too low on Sadie’s friend list, I might sink out of real life.I loved Sadie’s nickname for Colette: Coley. Some names just make me smile, and this one hit the spot.
It’s impossible to sleep long enough on an island this beautiful. All of this beauty makes me wonder why God decided we ever have to sleep in the first place.
But now we’re here, across the world in a cave in Santorini where the sun is so strong it almost has a smell and the stairs carved into the sides of the cliffs allow you to see everything at once and yet have a million surprises a day.
“Yes?” Sam says.
“I thought I screwed everything up,” I say.
He smiles. “You’re only one person. In the whole universe. You can’t screw everything up.”
|Karl Daniel, from Haiti|
|Kendrick Kemp, from the Bahamas|
“Look, I don’t know what’s happening with your father. After all these years I’m finally going to apologize and I hope he’ll hear me. But no matter what happens, you’re my kid, my daughter, okay? And when you get home, the first thing I’m going to do is listen to you.”I struggled with the parts of the story that involved Christian activities (e.g. youth group, mission trip) and Coley’s perception of these: they were just a rote part of her life. She had no passion for them, which actually makes sense, since she didn’t ever mention a passion for the Lord. That’s not what I’m complaining about; and I realize if she WAS passionate about the Lord, this book would have been published by a different publisher. But I can’t help wishing the book also included a contrast to Coley’s perception. Just so readers could get a little taste of what a mission trip means to a passionate believer. I love it when stories show contrasts like this.